"The L Word" – It's Not What You Think

January 22, 2009

I happened upon “The L Word” quite by accident. I must admit that it was an odd curiosity that prompted me to watch initially, but curiosity quickly developed into a genuine interest and appreciation of the show and its characters. Showtime was offering a free preview, so the clock was ticking. I tuned in night after night to see what all the hubbub was about. I suddenly had to know why the show had received so much attention from both its critics and its champions.

I knew very little about the show and its cast, aside from it being about a group of lesbians. Like many, I assumed it was probably little more than Showtime’s attempt to capitalize on the public’s curiosity and profit from showing gratuitous girl-on-girl action for an hour a week. I don’t often have cause to admit that I’m wrong, but in this case, I was. I was instantly hooked.

The show is about lesbians…there is no way around that. It isn’t, however, about sex. It is about friendship, life, loss and regret…but most of all, it is about love. Don’t get me wrong…there is sex, and plenty of it. If you’re a homophobe, I can understand why you would freak out. I’m accepting of all lifestyles and truly believe to each her own, but even I am taken aback from time to time. I won’t pretend that ultra-flamboyant gay men and wildly masculine women don’t make me a bit uncomfortable. I’ve gone to drag shows with some of my gay friends and, frankly, I just don’t get it. I’m not passing judgment, it’s just not my scene. But “The L Word” is not about the stereotypical extremes of being gay.

Yes, there are moments…like drag shows and gay pride parades that showcase every stereotype that the right-wing evangelical hate mongers of the world use to vilify and condemn the gay way of life as a whole. I may not enjoy those scenes, but I understand that they are an important part of giving a voice to the entire gay community – not just those who can seamlessly weave themselves in among what society deems to be acceptable. It isn’t that the scenes offend or disgust me. I simply can’t identify with them. I hate clubs and bars, whether gay or straight. I’m not a “party girl”. I’m the one sitting at the bar wanting to slap the six or seven “WOO-HOO!” girls at the table behind me. Loud, rowdy and obnoxious just aren’t for me.

99% of “The L Word” isn’t about being a lesbian. It is about the day-to-day struggles that are common to all of us. It’s about searching for happiness. It’s about finding a place in the world. It’s about learning how to pick yourself back up after being blindsided by life. We all experience joy and sorrow…triumph and tragedy…love and loss. “The L Word” isn’t about being gay. It’s about being human and the human experiences that are universal.

The characters Bette, played by Jennifer Beals, and Tina, played by Laurel Holloman, were the characters that ushered me into the world known as “The L Word”. My first thought was, “Hey…isn’t that the chick from ‘Flashdance’? Yes, it is…”. I nearly changed the channel. Not because I have something against Jennifer Beals or “Flashdance”, but because I wasn’t sure I’d ever see her as anything other than “that chick from ‘Flashdance’.” I kept watching. I knew nothing of the plot, the storyline, the evolution of these characters or even their names at that point. Only two things were clear to me: the blonde was pregnant and the brunette was hopelessly in love with her. Within minutes Jennifer Beals erased any memory of the ’80s. I had been proven wrong again – Jennifer Beals could act.

The real draw of the show is the relationship between Bette and Tina. It is the kind of relationship we all strive for…a partnership between two people who compliment each others strengths and fill in each others weaknesses. They have an undying love and passion for one another that is truly rare. Most of all, though, they’re both human…strong, vulnerable, tortured and flawed. Within each of them we find a bit of truth about ourselves, if we’re willing to admit it. They reflect parts of us – some that we’re comfortable sharing with the world and some we’re not.

“Bette Porter” is a fascinating character and instantly reminded me of everything I aspire to be. She is striking – there is no mistaking that and her beauty is obvious from the moment you first see her. Her true appeal, though, is something very different. She is formidable. She is a woman of substance – unwavering in her convictions – a woman who makes no apology for who she is or what she believes. She is breathtaking and intriguing. She is strong, yet vulnerable; confident, yet unsure; certain of what is right, yet capable of making mistakes. She is intelligent, outspoken, passionate, ambitious and successful. She is truly in a league all her own. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve got a bit of a crush on her…and if she were a real person, I’d most certainly fall in love with her. And so would you.

Bette and Tina share a once in a lifetime kind of live. And while the storyline itself is fictional, it is a reminder of the kind of love that inspires you to believe in “meant to be”. It is a connection, a chemistry and a passion that most of us never find. It is the stuff that dreams are made of – an argument in favor of fate, and a reason to believe. When they’re together, we cheer for them. When they’re apart, we ache for them. In triumph and in tragedy, the one thing that is certain is that Bette and Tina belong together. They remind us that we don’t have to settle for a relationship that is ordinary and that perhaps extraordinary love really does exist.

I have now rented and watched every season of “The L Word” on DVD. I have seen the evolution of its characters and their relationships. I’ve watched as Bette and Tina fell apart and I’ve watched as they’ve tried to piece their love back together. The mark of a great drama is the level at which it engages with its audience. Does it draw us in? Do we watch as though we actually know the characters or have some vested interest in their lives? “The L Word” certainly does both of those things. Within minutes we are drawn in by these women – involved in their lives and rooting for them as if they are our sisters, daughters, mothers and friends. “The L Word” is not a show about lesbians, for lesbians. “The L Word” is a show about life, for everyone.

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Posted by Alysson | Filed Under Rants & Raves

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8 Responses to “"The L Word" – It's Not What You Think”

sold on January 26th, 2009 1:10 pm

I heard they are auctioning off all of the L-Word set stuff – clothing, furniture, accessories, etc. Check it out at ableauctions.ca and email them with what you are looking for!

[Reply]
Alysson Reply:
January 27th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
You’re preaching to the choir – nothing brings me quite as much joy as highlighting the ridiculousness in any situation, be it reality or fiction. I guess since I didn’t approach the show expecting it to be a “representation” of anything, I was able to enjoy it as just a television show instead of having it mean something more than that.

If “The L Word” was set in Idaho, I’d agree wholeheartedly that it was far too extreme and not indicative of the local culture. The fact that it is set in LA, where anything can and does seem “normal” and “average”, makes it relatively believable. I don’t live in LA, but I love it and I try to visit whenever I can – that in and of itself was part of the show’s draw for me.

Anyone who would pass judgment on an entire group of people based on the fictional stories in a television show deserves pity, and is probably in need of a bit of therapy. Insanity resides in all corners of life, whether you’re gay or straight!

[Reply]
Alysson on January 26th, 2009 1:14 pm

Thanks for sharing. I’m not much for collecting “stuff”, but someone else reading this post might be.

[Reply]
Blognanimous on January 27th, 2009 12:54 pm

“The L Word” is to real life lesbians as “Passions” is to real life. An incredibly over-dramatized version of a vague reality.

http://deathtothelword.wordpress.com/

[Reply]
Alysson on January 27th, 2009 1:08 pm

That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. I think you’ve missed the point that all television drama, by nature, is an “over-dramatized version” of some reality. Television is supposed to be an escape from our own reality, and as such, isn’t meant to be an accurate play-by-play of real life. Who would want to watch that?

[Reply]
Blognanimous on January 27th, 2009 4:30 pm

Okay, agreed. I guess my point is that I think that some lesbians had hoped for something better to represent us. But, you’re right, tv is a stretch of the imagination, and who would want to watch an episode of two women sitting on the couch watching the nightly news?

[Reply]
Alysson on January 27th, 2009 4:44 pm

I completely understand what you’re saying, but this show is set in Los Angeles – a place notorious for attracting extremes. Just like every other lifestyle, I’m sure it differs based on what part of the country they live in and the local culture. A show about a straight couple in New York would probably be very different than a show about a straight couple in Nebraska. Not every lesbian’s life is the same, so the “The L Word” could be perfectly reflective of life in Los Angeles. I have no way of knowing…accurate representation or not, I just like the show.

[Reply]
Blognanimous on January 27th, 2009 5:07 pm

I suppose it just entertains me to point out how ridiculous it is. But kudos to you for watching and liking, just know that we’re not all that insane!

[Reply]

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"The L Word" – It's Not What You Think

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